Disclaimer: This article is meant all in good fun. There are many emotional, practical and entertainment advantages to furry and feathered pets. This article is meant to educate you about composting worms by comparing and contrasting them to furry/feathered pets. Enjoy!
Composting worms make great pets because they are no trouble at all. Stocking a worm farm costs less than $50, but pays off in unlimited free compost for your garden. While worms are not fluffy or affectionate, they come with fewer problems than other pets.
The average cost of owning a pet like a dog over its lifetime can range from $4000 to $38,000. But worms are relatively cheap to buy. And you generally get a thousand of them at a time.
Worms don’t need to be neutered or spayed. And they don’t need any special immunization shots or microchips.
Most pets need to be taken to the vet from time to time during their lifetime. And vets charge around $40 per visit. But worms never need a vet visit. And, if part of them gets cut off, sometimes they can even replace the severed part all by themselves.
When you first bring a new pet to your home, sometimes they are not completely house-trained. They urinate (or worse) on your nice cream carpet. And they may bring very unpleasant smells to your home. Worms don’t have any of these kinds of problems. They are house-trained and if you give them the right mix of organic and paper wastes, their home can be odor-free.
Most pets need special food. But worms can live on the scraps from your table. Often pets are picky eaters and turn their nose up at a new brand of food. Some pet owners end up feeding their pets better quality food than they eat themselves.
Worms can be a little picky too. They don’t like too much citrus and a few other acidic things, but on the whole, they aren’t that fussy. They eat vegetable scraps, cooked vegetable leftovers, newspapers, paper from your shredder, toilet paper rolls, old cotton clothes and so on.
Some pets can be very noisy. For example, some dogs bark when you leave and cause havoc for your neighbors. They can make you very disliked by those that live around you, and this can even lead to visits by the police, fines and so on. Worms are exceptionally quiet pets. You won’t even know they are around.
Some pets attack other pets or people. And as animals, their behavior in certain circumstances can be unpredictable. Your worms will never do these sorts of things.
Some pets can be bad for the environment. For example, cats often chase native birds and kill them. In some countries, abandoned cats have become a major environmental disaster as they are very efficient hunters and kill large numbers of native animals. Abandoned pet pythons are similarly causing environmental problems in the Everglades. But if your worms escape, they won’t do too much harm. They will even help the local environment by aerating soil and eating decomposing organic matter.
Some pets scratch the furniture, or they get their claws into your sofa or curtains. Worms, on the other hand, are well-behaved.
Some pets react strangely when you have guests to your home. For example, some dogs have a tendency to leap up and dirty your guest’s clothes. Others embarrassingly bury their heads in your guest’s crotch area. Cats sometimes run and hide. Others climb all over your guests and sink claws into their legs, causing yelps of pain. Worms have none of these socialization issues.
If you take your dog for a walk in the park, you have to bring plastic bags and spend your time scooping poop. You don’t have to do this for your worms. They are very self-sufficient.
Pets often tie you to your home. It can be expensive to find a kennel to take care of them while you are away. But with worms, you can go on vacation and, as long as you aren’t away for more than a month or so and you leave them some food to eat, they will just wait patiently for your return.
So composting worms, although they might not be as cuddly as some pets, they are very well behaved and, as such, come highly recommended as pets.
Note from Uncle Jim: I love my dog more than I love my worms. Please take this article as some light tongue-in-cheek humor. All pets have their advantages and disadvantages — love them all!