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What If Worms Were Human?

confusedWorms are pretty amazing creatures. They have interesting characteristics that make them one of the world’s most unique creatures. It’s no wonder Charles Darwin spent 39 years studying them over 100 years ago! He actually described earthworms as the “intestines of the earth”! Today they’re regarded as nature’s garbage disposals. They’re obviously important to the ecosystem and play a crucial role in soil quality and plant vitality.

Uncle Jim’s Worm Farm would like to share some of these interesting facts about worms in a fun way. To do this, we’re going to ask ourselves, “What if worms were actually human”?

If Worms Were Human…

  • The average person could eat at least 100 lbs of food in one day! That’s 200 big macs! But we all know that worms prefer organic food rather than the fatty, greasy stuff, so it would be more like you eating a 100+ lb watermelon every time you sit down for dinner.
  • We’d have the ability to regenerate most lost segments of our bodies including arms and legs! This would be bad news for the orthotics and prosthetics industry.
  • The tallest person would stand at 22 feet tall! African earthworms grow to be 6 feet long on the average, the tallest measuring 22 feet in length (found on a road side in Africa in the year 1967).
  • We’d be cold blooded!
  • We’d breathe through our skin! Also, there would be no more sunbathing. Too much UV rays would paralyze us, if it didn’t dry us up first. Worms require that their skin remains moist and they accomplish this through excreting mucus and living in dark, cool and moist environments – dirt! So, no more laying out on the beach soaking up some rays!
  • We’d have no eyes! However, we’d still be able to sense light and dark through another sensory organ.
  • Both males and females would be able to produce children after mating because we would be hermaphrodites (having both male and female organs).
  • We’d be found living in the deep, dark corners of the earth as deep as 2 miles below the earth’s surface!
  • The average person would only live 3 to 4 years!
  • In just one acre, there could be up to one million of us! Wait, that’s not possible, not even if we were living underground.
  • It would be Mardi-Gras every time it rained! Worms wiggle their way to the surface after a rainstorm because it’s easier for them to get from A to B, mate and to find grub to pull down into their burrows.
  • One of our favorite kinds of food would be poo! To a worm, eating horse manure is fine dining! On the other hand, we’d shy away from oranges, grapefruit, pineapples, lemons and other highly acidic fruits.
Aren’t you glad we don’t share the same characteristics as our little squiggly friends? What a world it would be.
Happy composting! Image courtesy of www.xmascotcostume.com
Sources: 
  • http://www.infobarrel.com/Top_10_facts_about_Worms
  • http://urbanext.illinois.edu/worms/facts/index.html
  • http://earth-essentials.hubpages.com/hub/Worms
  • http://www.grit.com/garden/vegetables/facts-about-earthworms.aspx

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